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Mediation is a problem
solving process where an impartial third party assists you in
reaching an agreement that would be the fairest to both of you.
Mediation works successfully for many divorcing families.
Cooperative couples more often choose this alternative.
Families with high conflict need mediation even more to avoid the high
costs of litigation and the deepening conflicts that result from the
adversity inherent in court litigated “solutions”.
My mediation process includes an
orientation session which gives us the opportunity to get to know each
other. I spend most of the first meeting simply listening to a couple’s
differing perspectives, gathering information, answering questions and
presenting an agenda for our following meetings. The most important goal
for the first meeting is to create an atmosphere where both parties will feel comfortable and secure.
During the course of the mediation process the couple will need
to make many serious decisions about their assets and liabilities,
parenting and child support, spousal support (if necessary) and the couple’s
living arrangements. We
will focus on the future and make arrangements that take all family
members into consideration.
At the end of the process, I
prepare a Memorandum of Understanding, a detailed document that will be
used by one of your attorneys to create your Property Settlement
Agreement.
I am a firm believer that when people participate in creating their
own voluntary agreement it is more likely be honored by both parties.
Therefore, my goal is to facilitate communication, promote
understanding, and assist you in reaching fully informed solutions
that will work for both of you. I realize that what seems fair to both
sides is what counts and I let your creativity be a part of the
process. Though, we have to consider the legal boundaries there is
still much latitude for you to work out an agreement suitable for
the entire family.
Your most important goal during
mediation is to prepare yourself mentally and recognize that a
settlement will be reached only if both parties’ major goals are met. You
will also need to keep in mind that mediation is a negotiation process
where both sides will need to work very hard in balancing an agreement
and recognize that neither of you will get your "wish list" and both of
you will need to give up on some points in order to gain on the
others.
Statistics indicate that over
80% of all mediations result in settlement. This is true even where all
prior attempts at settlement have failed, where the parties were
pessimistic about the prospects of settlement, and where the parties
have spent substantial amounts of time and money preparing for trial.
With such a success rate, it is wise and relatively inexpensive
to try mediation. You have little to lose and a lot to gain!
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